


What's In a Statistic Anyway?

by rev_lady_mal



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Multi, World statistical data
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 12:44:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6079776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rev_lady_mal/pseuds/rev_lady_mal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iceland falls in some world rankings and the other Nordics try to cheer him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's In a Statistic Anyway?

The quiet afternoon was broken by the sound of the telephone ringing in the next room, followed by Finland yelling, “IIIIII’LLL get it!” as he ran down the hallway. Sweden looked up from his paper when he heard the other country say “Hi Norway, what’s up?” He tried to give the sporting section his full attention again but Finland’s voice made it impossible.

“Oh dear, really? When did this happen? Can’t get him to talk or even look at you? That’s terrible! I’m sure it’s nothing you’ve done, he adores you Norway. Come over? Let me ask Sweden but I’m sure it’s okay, see you in a bit!”

“Hey Sweden?” Finland asked as he put the telephone receiver back in the cradle, “That was Norway. Iceland’s really upset about something and he wondered if we could go over to his house and help cheer him up.” He walked into the room where Sweden sat reading his paper. The look on Finland’s face told him something was very wrong.

Sweden folded the paper and tossed it on the table next to his chair. He stood up and said “Sure, c’mon.”

~*~*~*~*~

When Finland and Sweden arrived they were greeted at the door by Norway, who looked very worried.

“How is he doing?” Finland asked. “And what happened to put him in such a mood?”

Norway led the other two countries into a lounge where they found Iceland sitting on the couch. His feet were up on the cushion and he rested his chin on his knees staring out of an open window at the Chilly North Atlantic. “Iceland,” Norway said, “Sweden and Finland are here.”

There was no response from the other country. Norway looked at Sweden and Finland and said, “I came over this morning and I found him like he is now. I’ve tried to talk to him but he doesn’t answer. I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps the spirits haven’t cast a spell on him.”

“Oh please.” Sweden muttered.

Finland gave the tall country a look that said ‘knock it off’ then asked Norway, “He won’t talk at all?”

“Not a word.” Norway answered. “I’m really concerned.”

There was a loud knock at the front door, and Norway went to answer it. Finland sat down next to Iceland trying to get him to talk, look at him, or twitch a muscle to show he was still alive. Sweden wondered if they would get out of there before supper.

“Hey everyone!” Denmark shouted as he entered the lounge, “I heard our friend Iceland is feeling sad.” He walked over and crouched down in front of the still silent country. “We’re all here because we’re worried about you, now what is it that has you feeling this way?”

Iceland glanced at Denmark’s smiling face, and then with a quick look at Norway, he reached behind his back and pulled out a rumpled piece of paper. He handed it to Denmark and went back to staring out the window. Everyone crowded around to see what was on the paper that upset Iceland so much. Norway was the first to look up and stare at Iceland. “This is it? This is what has you so upset?”

“YES!” Iceland finally broke his silence by shouting at Norway. “Sorry, yes but this is what upset me.”

“But why? This is just some silly statistical ranking. Somebody threw a bunch of numbers into a computer, crunched them up and came up with this. It doesn’t mean anything.” Finland said, trying to comfort the upset nation.

“But I was FIRST!” Iceland cried, “I was ranked as the safest country in the world! Then the economy collapses and the government resigns, that knocks me down to fourth?”

“Really now, is fourth so bad?” Norway asked. He received an icy glare from the anguished country. “I’m ranked third, you don’t see me crying over it.”

“Really!” Denmark chimed in. “I’m in second place. Do you have any idea what that feels like?”

Iceland locked angry eyes with Norway and said through clenched teeth. “Yeah actually, I do know what that’s like.”

“Oh would you get over the Eurovision thing already!” Norway exclaimed. “That was weeks ago!”

“Yes, weeks of you rubbing it in everyone’s faces.” Iceland retorted

“When have I ever rubbed ANYTHING in your face Iceland?” Norway asked with an irritated voice. Iceland arched an eyebrow at him. “Don’t answer that.” The irritated country added as he flopped into a chair.

Denmark gave Norway a curious look, then put his attention back on Iceland. “Look at it this way, you’re still in the top five.” Denmark jabbed his thumb in Sweden’s direction, “Mr. Strong and Silent Type over here is in sixth place.”

Sweden shrugged his shoulders at the news, “Wh’ever.”

“And Canada,” Denmark began.

“Who?” Iceland asked.

“Exactly!” Demark continued, “Nobody can even see him and he’s way down in 8th place. Then there’s ole stuffed shirt pompous talks with mashed potatoes in his mouth United Kingdom, he’s in 35th place.”

“Thanks t’Sc’land.” Sweden mumbled.

There was a hint of a smile beginning to show on Iceland’s face.

“And look at America,” Denmark continued, “For all his bragging and pimping himself ‘Fuck yeah! I’m a Hero!’ He’s way down in 83rd place.”

“T’many guns.” Sweden grunted.

“Yeah, geez what’s up with that guy, think he’s compensating for something?”

Iceland couldn’t stifle the laugh that came out. He slapped his hand over his mouth and looked at each of the other countries gathered around him. Finland gave an encouraging smile to Iceland and said, “There’s still so many wonderful things about your country. You should be thankful for everything that makes you the great nation you are.”

Iceland thought about the collapsed economy, his bosses resigning from government and the smile melted from his face. “Thankful? What do I have to be thankful for?”

“Hákarl.” Sweden muttered, trying to ignore his growling stomach.

“Exactly, thanks Sweden!” Denmark chimed in, “No one can top Iceland when it comes to rotten shark!”

“Fermented shark you idiot, hákarl is fermented shark.” Norway glared at Denmark.

The cheerful country looked puzzled for a moment then grinned, “What’s the difference? And how about your famous Golden Circle tour? People from all over the world come to visit and go on that tour.”

“And you have so many puffins.” Finland squeaked, “They’re very cute!”

“Speaking of puffins, it’s getting too late to cook, let’s order out.” Norway said, reaching for the phone book.

“Can we get some Kjötsúpa? Sweden loves it.” Finland asked, just as Sweden’s stomach rumbled so loud people on the street could have heard it.

Denmark smirked, “Better hurry up Norway, or the hungry troll in Sweden’s stomach is going to eat us all.”

Sweden stood up and faced Denmark nose to nose, Denmark felt somewhat irritated he had to slightly lift his chin to look the taller country in the eye. “Relax big guy, it’s a joke.”

“Fuck you.” Sweden grunted, but sat back down.

Norway smirked at Sweden and said, “We could let him eat you Denmark, that should fill him up for a long time.” Denmark looked at the grin widening on Sweden’s face and decided to sit down and shut up for a change.

‘Just out of curiosity, which country is in first place now?” Finland asked, reaching for the paper that had found its way to the floor. Sweden leaned towards Finland to read over his shoulder. “Really? That country? What do they have?”

“Sheep.” Sweden offered.

“Honestly, who knows?” Norway sighed, reaching for the telephone. Iceland let his head drop to his knees, despair washing over him again.

**Author's Note:**

> This in my opinion is one of the god awful fics I wrote. The Nordics are not in character at all and the story really goes no where.


End file.
